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[Mon 10 Aug 2009 =-= 22:21] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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So, I'm staying in New Orleans for at least another year, barring something drastic happening. It's going to be interesting.
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[Mon 10 Aug 2009 =-= 11:14] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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So they offered me another job to stay in the lab. I haven't gotten a formal offer yet, or figured out if it's going to affect my benefits, and I haven't heard back from Switzerland, but this means I'll have to make a decision very, very soon. Fuck.
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| I'm back. |
[Sun 26 Jul 2009 =-= 21:18] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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Yoko Shimomura - Under the Sea |
] |
Once again. I might actually start writing in this thing more. There are events that I feel are better covered here than in facebook notes. It's going to be a wild ride.
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[Thu 02 Oct 2008 =-= 12:32] |
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mood |
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 blank |
] |
I just want it to be written down somewhere that, except for last night's obvious reasons, I have had nightmares about the trip I am taking tomorrow for the last five or six nights consecutively.
I love you.
That's all.
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[Sat 19 Jul 2008 =-= 22:57] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Where Do Broken Hearts Go? |
] |
Why is it that people say "not tonight" instead of "you know what, I really have absolutely no interest in you whatsoever, but instead of just telling you, I'm just going to do a really shitty job of making you think that's not the case and string you along for as long as possible so that I can maximize how much this will hurt you"?
Oh. Now that I look at it, I guess the former saves a lot of time.
Incidentally, the hotel I'm staying in right now has a really large mirror on a wall next to the bed. When I was in bed earlier, I rolled over and could see what I imagine other people see when they share a bed with me.
I understand a few more things now.
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[Tue 08 Jul 2008 =-= 01:50] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Coldplay - X & Y |
] |
You know what's sad? One day, someone who legitimately likes me will do something sweet for me and I will break down and cry because I will be so surprised that it was happening that I won't know what else to do. And whoever it is will be really confused. And that's entirely your fault.
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[Fri 27 Jun 2008 =-= 18:17] |
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mood |
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pensive |
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music |
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Paramore - Emergency |
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You know what's interesting: if I put the number of times I've been told to stop trying to mess around with someone over the number of times that they've come crawling back, the ratio is really, really close to one. Not that I expect you or anyone else to break. I just recognize that keeping yourself from something you enjoy is pointless.
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| No. |
[Thu 26 Jun 2008 =-= 01:07] |
No we can't just be friends and no I won't talk to you about it and no I won't sit there and watch you be happy with someone else and no I refuse to be okay with this and no I won't talk to you about it and no you wouldn't understand even if I did and no things probably won't ever change and no you don't have to do anything about it and no there's nothing you could do even if you wanted to and no I can't seem to just get over it and no I won't ever be used to the way things have been going and no you won't ever know how this makes me feel and no I don't want you to try to help me and no I don't think there's anything you can do and no I don't think I'll ever be good enough and no I don't think I can just wait around and no I don't want to do this anymore and no I don't want to discuss this and no I won't ever forgive you and no there's really nothing you can say to make me feel better and no all you're doing is making me feel worse and no I'm actually not okay and no I probably won't ever be.
So there.
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[Wed 25 Jun 2008 =-= 08:48] |
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mood |
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sad |
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Rest in peace, Travis Farren. May angels lead you in.
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[Sat 21 Jun 2008 =-= 05:37] |
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mood |
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 enraged |
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music |
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MCO - Ambient Noise |
] |
I'm sure I've said it several times before: I'm much better to have as a friend than an enemy. I am slow to anger, but my wrath knows absolutely no bounds. You will pay very, very dearly for what you've done, just like all the ones before you, so help me God.
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[Tue 17 Jun 2008 =-= 23:58] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Jamie Cullum - These Are The Days |
] |
I am not allowed to ejaculate for the next week.
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[Fri 06 Jun 2008 =-= 18:15] |
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mood |
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hungry |
] |
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music |
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Signal Hill - Standby, SIr |
] |
I am so sick of being a part of people's lives they either try to forget or never talk about again.
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| Boo. |
[Wed 28 May 2008 =-= 19:09] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
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music |
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The Flaming Lips - Vein of Stars |
] |
Still alive.
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| I think he's dead. =\ |
[Sat 20 Oct 2007 =-= 01:00] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
I used to talk to this kid on AIM all the time. His name was Kyle. He lived in Chicago. We had been talking for years. For some reason, though, I haven't heard from him in months, and his livejournal has been deleted and purged. I can't remember his screenname, either, so I can't look through my archives. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure I haven't talked to him since I got my last computer, so he wouldn't be in those archives anyway.
In any case, I think he might be dead. And that makes me sad.
=\
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| I deserve better. |
[Thu 20 Sep 2007 =-= 01:48] |
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mood |
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tired |
] |
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music |
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Deuce Bigalow?! |
] |
Just so you know. I know I do. You constantly try to push me away. You know what? One day, you're going to succeed, and I'm going to be past the point of caring.
And what then? What will you be left with?
Think about what you're doing. I may not be much, but without me, you have nothing.
Good night.
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